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by Lauzzkaban



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Fluff and Smut, F/M, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen Are Not Related, Jon Snow is Not a Targaryen, Jon Snow is actually Ned Stark’s son, Jon and Dany go through a lot of bad stuff, Jon is kind of an ass for a while, Minor Character Death, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, R Plus L Does Not Equal J, Sexual Content, Slow Burn, Sort of friends to enemies to lovers, Time Skips, Violence, kind of, only like two
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-15
Updated: 2020-02-15
Packaged: 2021-02-27 18:22:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22730134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lauzzkaban/pseuds/Lauzzkaban
Summary: Like a stone I'll go down, I'm too far to be foundGot no place for the stormAll the love that I found couldn't turn me aroundDrift away all aloneDon't say this is the endI think I'm lost againThank you for your patience, the time that you gave meThink I never knew you were trying to save meFree me from the shadow that lied on my shoulderPlease don't say it's over, it's over, it's overI’m standing on the edge, afraid of emptinessDon’t leave me, I’m begging you my friend.~Save Me Once Again - The Rasmus
Relationships: Daario Naharis/Daenerys Targaryen (mentioned), Daenerys Targaryen/Khal Drogo (mentioned), Jon Snow/Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow/Ygritte, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 16
Kudos: 39





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**Author's Note:**

> Hi everyone!
> 
> This is actually a rehash of my work “Come Crashing Down”, so if you’re back with me after reading that, then thank you thank you thank you! And if you’re new, welcome! 
> 
> After S8 I decided I wanted to go in a slightly different direction and start off a little further back, so that’s what this first chapter is. It was originally meant to be quite short, but it sort of ran away with me, so I hope you won’t mind that it’s a bit long.
> 
> I hope you enjoy taking this ride with me. I have to admit I’m a little nervous. This story is my baby and I’m pouring my heart and soul into it, so I hope you’ll all love reading it as much as I love writing it.
> 
> One thing I will ask, please make sure you check the tags before reading each update. I don’t want to give too much away too soon, so I’ll be updating the tags with any possible triggers, new characters etc as they arise.
> 
> Thanks again for taking the time to check this out. Let’s get right to it.

The day he walked out of her life was almost exactly like the day he had walked into it. Winter had come. Daenerys closed her gloved hands tight around a steaming paper cup clutched close to her chest as she walked around the frozen expanse of Lake Winterfell, the path through the park invisible under a deep blanket of fresh snow that crunched beneath her heavy boots. Vaguely aware that her breath rose visibly around her in thin, white clouds, she buried her mouth and nose into her red scarf to protect them from the bitter chill of mid-December. Although she clearly had not acclimatised to the harsh Northern winters despite having moved to Winterfell when she was five years old, her lips pulled up into a content smile underneath the scarf as she admired her surroundings.

The playground equipment was snowcapped - abandoned in favour of snowball fights and sledding - glimmering icicles hanging from every surface, spiderwebs in the bushes were coated with frost and glistened like diamonds under the winter sunshine. Colourful lights had been strung between the trees lining the paths and up ahead, beside the open iron gates stood an enormous fir tree, at least twenty feet tall with it’s branches blanketed in snow and decorated for Christmas with ornaments of deep red and gold. She remembered the first time she had ever seen it, almost exactly ten years ago. 

She had been afraid of this place then, when her father had first brought her and her brothers North it had been little more than a frozen wasteland, vast and grey, the cold unforgiving. The tree was the first thing in Winterfell she had found beauty in, a little bit of colour in the wilderness and it became her safe place. It seemed so much bigger to her back then, but it was no less magical, and it was right beside it, all those years ago, that Dany first met Jon Snow.

***

They had been in Winterfell for barely more than a day, and Daenerys had spent most of that time crying out for Dragonstone, for home. _It’s too cold! I miss the beach. I want to go home!_ she wailed, again and again. Her father met her distress with the back of his hand. He was a callous man, foul-tempered and aggressive. He had never wanted a daughter and blamed Dany still for his wife’s death on the birthing bed, and so Dany often bore the brunt of his temper. The argument between her father and eldest brother Rhaegar was explosive, and Rhaegar whisked her away to the park nearby to avoid angering him further. Rhaegar had always been the protective one, the one who loved her dearly. He called her _little dragon_ , sang her to sleep at night, told her stories of brave warrior queens and the dragons they rode. He was much older than she was, almost a man grown, and every bit the father to her that Aerys was not - soft and gentle.

She didn’t have a coat that day - only woollen tights and a thin, red cardigan sheltering her from the bitter breeze and the snow was so deep, up as far as her knees, that she stumbled with every other step as she walked through the park gates, clutching Rhaegar’s sleeve in one hand and a green stuffed dragon in the other. Rhaegar had promised that he would take her out the next day and buy her any coat she wanted and snow boots to match. Dany was still afraid, but it cheered her up enough that when they approached the giant, decorated fir tree to the left of the gate she forgot how upset she was and gazed up at it in awe, chattering excitedly to Rhaegar about the different shaped ornaments she could see. Christmas trees were not a common tradition back home, and even if they were she doubted her father would ever allow them to have one. It made Dany happy to have one so close by and for a moment Winterfell seemed a lot less bleak. 

She was so mesmerised that she wasn’t afraid when Rhaegar left her side to buy them hot chocolates from a nearby coffee cart, and she didn’t even notice the whirlwind little boy who came barrelling towards her until it was too late, finding herself sprawled on the ground with an ache in her arm and rapidly melting snow seeping through her tights. She almost started to cry, but when she looked up and caught the eye of the culprit something stopped her. The boy was about her age, with a riot of jet black curls atop his head and playful grey eyes. He smiled lopsidedly at her as he rubbed his reddening nose, and something about that smile made Dany feel defensive. She stared him down defiantly as she stood, but she did not say a word, watching him accusingly as he bent down and picked up the stuffed dragon she had dropped.

“Sorry,” the boy said cheerily. The whole time he stood there he never seemed to stop moving, bouncing excitedly on the balls of his feet. “I didn’t mean to get your dinosaur all wet.”

“His name is Rhaegal, and he’s _not_ a dinosaur!” Dany snapped, reaching out and snatching the toy back, trying to rub it dry on the front of her cardigan. “He’s a _dragon_!”

The distinction seemed to excite him and he had been unperturbed by her harsh tone, instead flashing her another grin, light dancing in his excited eyes. “I love dragons! Can I see?” he exclaimed, stepping forward to get a closer look. She continued to eye him warily, but handed him the dragon all the same. The boy examined it carefully, inspecting every inch with furrowed brows, and eventually gave it back to her, his grin even bigger than before. 

“He’s so _cool_! I’m Jon Snow. Are you new here? You could get a dragon for our tree. Every family in Winterfell has one,” he informed her cheerfully, pointing up at the tree in front of them. He spoke so quickly that Dany didn’t even get a chance to respond before he continued, beginning to tell her about all the different decorations; a bear for the Mormonts, a lizard for the Reeds, a golden rose for the Tyrells. Dany listened intently, fascinated by the stories he told about all the different families, some of them descended from ancient Northern Houses, others that had moved to Winterfell from all over Westeros, just like her. He then pointed right at the top, where a giant, silver wolf’s head sat.

“That’s a direwolf, for the Starks. That’s my Papa’s family,” he explained. “Papa is the Mayor so theirs is at the top.”

“It’s lovely,” Dany enthused as she finally found her voice again, staring at the direwolf head in awe. She had heard legends of direwolves, her favourite of the stories Rhaegar told her was about a King who went to battle with a giant direwolf, but she had never seen one before. Between his father’s direwolf and his fascination for her dragon, Dany felt that maybe she and this rambunctious boy had something in common, and resolved to drop her guard a little and tell him the story about the Wolf King.

Rhaegar brought her back to the park the following day, and the boy was there again. She told him more stories about Wolf Kings and Dragon Queens, and he told her about more of the decorations, including the beautifully intricate snowflake that belonged to him and his mother, and the reason he was not named Stark. The day after that he saved her a seat beside him at school, defending her against the children who teased her for her silver hair and violet eyes, and invited her to be the Dragon Queen as he turned her stories into games. She came to learn that he went to the park almost every day after school, and she found herself begging Rhaegar to bring her too. Before long they became inseparable. Jon Snow became Dany’s safety, the one thing that eventually made Winterfell feel like home.

***

When she reached the clearing in the trees to her left, with the old wooden bench that was hidden from the view of the footpath, Jon was already there. He was still much braver in the cold than she was, protected from the chill by nothing but a thin, worn grey jacket, no scarf, hat, or even gloves to be seen. He clutched a paper cup of his own - filled with strong coffee, she knew - and he was staring into it like it was the most fascinating thing in the world, fingertips lightly brushing around the width of it. His head lifted when he heard her crisp footsteps coming towards him and his lips curved up in a friendly smile. To anyone else, it would have looked for all the world like he was happy to see her, but Dany knew him better than that. His dark curls were pushed back from his face, his eyes hard and clouded, the worry lines at the corners of them and the furrow of his brow making him look far older than his fifteen years, and Dany knew instantly that he’d had a rough night. She opened her mouth to ask about it, but Jon spoke first.

“I don’t know why you bother draggin’ me out at this time of year. You’re clearly not built for it.” Jon said with a smirk, watching the way Dany pulled the collar of her coat tighter around her neck as she sat beside him on the bench. She lightly smacked his arm and rolled her eyes.

“Very funny. I can’t stay long, but I thought it might do you good to get out of the house for a bit,” Dany replied. There was a long pause as she stared into the depths of her own cup, swirling it slightly in her hands before she added; “It would do me good too, come to think if it.”

Jon looked up at that, furrowing his brow in concern. “Things still shit at home?”

“No, home is fine. For now, anyway,” she said with a shrug, looking up to meet Jon’s eyes. He nodded encouragingly, but he didn’t pry. Jon knew the kind of man Dany’s father was and he often offered Dany refuge from his rages. After a moment, Dany heaved a sigh. “Rhaegar got the job.”

“The one in King’s Landing?” Dany nodded slowly and Jon’s eyes widened slightly as he blew out a long breath. He had known that Dany’s eldest brother had recently gained a law degree and applied for a job that would take him away from Winterfell, but neither of them had really confronted the possibility that he would actually go anywhere. “Seven Hells. I’m sorry, Dany.”

“I am happy for him. He’s worked so hard for this. I’m just afraid, I don’t know what it will be like in that house without him.”

Jon edged closer to her so that he could lay his arm across her shoulders and pull her to him, and Dany leaned into him, blinking back the tears that burned her eyes at the thought. “You don’t have to spend a single second longer than necessary there with that man,” Jon spat bitterly, and Dany could tell he was fighting to suppress the anger that rose within him whenever he thought of Aerys Targaryen. “You can come over anytime.”

“I don’t like to impose, not with everything that’s going on for you right now.”

“You wouldn’t be.” he told her firmly, using his hand to tilt her chin up so that she had no choice but to look him in the eye, see how sincere he was. “What’s goin’ on at home doesn’t mean you’re not welcome anymore. Mother loves havin’ you, you’re like the daughter she never had. You always have a home with us, Dany, you know that.”

“I know, and I’m grateful, but...” Dany tore her eyes from his again, nudging nervously at the snow beneath her feet with the toe of her boot as she considered how best to voice her thoughts. “Jon, we both know that’s not going to be an option forever.”

She knew instantly that she had said the wrong thing. Jon’s arm jerked back from around her shoulders, and the warmth of his body left her as he shuffled away from her on the bench.

“Don’t you think I know that?” he snapped. He stood up abruptly, turning his back to her and throwing his now empty cup into a nearby bin with more force than was necessary. “I don’t need remindin’ that my mother is goin’ to die, Daenerys!”

Dany flinched at the harshness of his tone, hating the way her full name tumbled from his mouth, like he was spitting out poison. In almost a decade of friendship, she could count on one hand the number of times Jon had not called her Dany. He had grown increasingly angry in the year and a half since his mother had become sick, but even through it all he had never taken it out on her before. Dany was prone to losing her temper at times, but Jon... Jon was gentle.

“Jon, come on. I didn’t mean it like that, I just meant...”

Jon interrupted her with a harsh exhale, rubbing hard at his face with the palms of both hands as he turned back around to face her. His features had softened. “I know. It’s alright. I’m sorry, it was just a really long night.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jon shrugged as he sat back down, and Dany felt overwhelming sadness wash over her at the dullness in his eyes, the bags underneath them. He had been caring for his mother since the moment he found out she was sick and he refused to accept help from anyone, instead shouldering the responsibility like a man twice his age. She had tried on multiple occasions to make him consider a hospice or even a live in nurse but he shot her down every time. Eventually she had given up trying.

After a few moments of quiet, just sitting together listening to the distant laughter of children and the winter robins singing in the trees, Dany swallowed down the rest of her tea, threw her cup into the bin and stood up, turning and reaching both gloved hands out to Jon.

“Come on. _Up_!” she said in her best commanding voice.

“Where are we going?” Jon asked suspiciously, slowly reaching out to take her hands, and she pulled him to his feet.

“We are going to feed the birds, and I’m going to gush about Daario asking me to the winter dance, and then we’re going to throw some snowballs at each other and be obnoxiously loud, entirely normal teenagers for a while.”

They did just that. They spent the best part of the afternoon forgetting the far-too-grown-up troubles that waited for them at home, eating donuts by the lake and engaging in an out-and-out snowball war that had them both roaring with laughter. Dany did not fail to notice the childish glint in Jon’s eye that had been missing these past months, and the way his eyes wrinkled with mirth as he laughed. _Gods, it felt good to see Jon laugh again_.

When Dany lost her footing on the ice and buckled to the ground, they laughed all the harder. Jon bent down to wipe a mixture of dirt and melting snow from her chin with his sleeve and they lingered there for a few beats as their amusement fizzled out, just looking, smiling at each other, revelling in the feeling of being so blissfully unaware of their troubles, the feeling of just _being fifteen_. 

It was only when the harsh shrill of Dany’s phone rang out from her coat pocket that they broke out of their bubble, and Jon hauled her to her feet so she could fish it out and check the caller ID. 

“My father,” she said quietly, her breathing quickening as she noticed the sun beginning to set beyond the lake. She was due home hours ago. “ _Seven Hells_! I have to go.”

Jon caught her arm as she started to walk away. “You’ll be alright?”

Dany nodded quickly, promise in her eyes. “Yes. Rhaegar is still home, he won’t touch me, but I _have_ to go. I’ll call tomorrow after school. Please call me if you need help at home?”

“I will. Thank you.” Jon pulled her into a hug and gave her a squeeze, then let her go. As she reached the gate, he called after her. “Dany! Remember what I said. Anytime.” 

Dany smiled and gave a nod, then disappeared around the corner.

 _Anytime_.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> If you got this far, I’d be incredibly grateful if you’d like to let me know what you thought.
> 
> I always strive to be better and to give readers something they’ll enjoy, so your feedback means the world.
> 
> Thank you! <3


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